Here’s my first journal entry at age 30:
To educate, promote and strengthen the foundation and awareness of the human body, internally and externally, through movement and nutrition, so that everyone can achieve their potential and be able to do what they love with who they love.
Why I want to teach
I feel that I am learning the most about myself and discovering my purpose in life as I grow older. I thought I had it all figured out at a young age: it all started when I struggled with body image issues and eating disorders at the age of 9. I was struggling in the beginning of high school with the same, as well as hanging out with the wrong crowds, trying to be popular while disregarding my true friends from childhood and disrespecting my parents, partying, drinking, getting into trouble with the law, I bullied and had been bullied. Then I discovered fitness, cleaned up my act and finished school early with a business degree, while maintaining a part time job at a gym as a personal trainer. Because of that, I undermined my passion in fitness and helping others to pursue a corporate job which gave me supposed security, steady salary, and benefits so that I could get married and buy a home. My life as I knew it, was set. By 28 I’ve done all I needed to do and I would just continue to work my way up the corporate ladder and enjoy a few vacations throughout the year with my husband, funded by my fancy corporate job. Working with successful men and women who made 6 and 7 figures made me excited. I loved money. I spent years and effort working on my CFA but stopped at level 3 after failing it twice. I was still teaching fitness classes on the side which I thought would keep me satisfied, keeping one foot in the door. That was my “balance”. As I continued on, the part of me that loved fitness started to outshine. It started to grow deeper as I got older, physically stronger, and as I started to surround myself with people who had a similar passion and who were better than me. I realized my definition of success was all wrong for me.
My biggest push was my husband. He realized that our straight-arrow life, working a corporate job, wearing a suit and tie everyday, paying for a mortgage and cars which we barely get to use was not something he could do for another 30 years. It was hurting him and he saw the same in me. After 8 years of suits and ties, After the toughest internal battle with myself, I followed my heart, started taking on private clients again, increased my own training and practice time, enrolled in my holistic nutrition course, booked my vacations and teacher trainings, listed our home for sale so that we could move back with my mother in law temporarily and save money, rent out our other home, and quit my full time corporate job.
My mind is no longer going a mile a minute with shit I don’t care about, like working long hours to make the big bucks and earning vacation time, shopping for more shoes and dresses, binging on alcohol and partying like a rock star. I’m no longer stressing to get shit done at work before going for a week long vacation and then worrying about all the emails I have to deal with when I get back. I am no longer deeply attached to material things and consuming in excess (booze, food, shoes and dresses!). My mind is, however, now filled with lots of the unknown and excitement about what the next 12 months will bring. I can now put my full 100% focus into my own practice, my studies, my clients, and building my brand. I can dedicate myself to educate others on living a healthy and balanced lifestyle, whether they want to be a competitive athlete, a corporate professional, stay home and raise a family, or work for themselves – whatever their goals are. None of their goals can be achieved if they are not honest with themselves and aware of their own body and mind. Often times, this is where the stress and frustration comes from. From poor health, lack of mobility and connection with the mind. I know first hand what it feels like to be stuck, physically and mentally. I want to put balance and awareness back into people’s lives so that they can do what they were born to do: Move, be healthy, so that they can achieve their goals and do what they love with who they love. This is why I want to teach.